IS IT ALL WORTH IT?

The start of this week was really good, work wise. I had made progress with some new business leads for the PR side of things, getting closer to contracts being signed off. Also one of the other ongoing projects was ticking over nicely and I was now beginning to see my ‘hard graft’ being worth it. Fast forward to today and I’m wondering what have I let myself in for. Leaving an extremely well paid job within a highly successful agency to go it alone and start up other ventures too? Was I stupid? Now I have to work every single god damn day if I want to see money a pay cheque at the end of each month, with no real holiday entitlement or sick pay arranged. Doesn’t matter if ‘boss lady’ may have interfered with my sleep, leaving me to survive on 2 hours or more (which has been the case twice this week and last), or better yet, if I’m not feeling well – I’ve got to still pick myself up, dust myself off and get on with it.
Cha’, I suppose I’m just feeling the strain and having a dud day? All I want is for the ‘stress’ to go away immediately. Not in a month, not in 6 months, just right now. I suppose I should just “Breathe slow, count from 1 to 10”? I’m so feeling your tune right now Alesha.

SELF EMPLOYMENT + A SICK CHILD + A SICK MAN = WRONG RESULT!

So, I’ve got a client presentation that requires my undivided attention. I have some fashion news for one of my clients which I need to pitch to ALL national fashion journalists, from directors to assistants and I have some legal documentation I need to sort for one of my other business ventures. To top it off, boss lady has caught some friggin’ eye infection so I’m having to keep her at home (as I don’t want my nephew to catch it if they’re both at my parents house). If that wasn’t enough I have a sick man home too and whilst he isn't 'asking' for me to do much for him, you know that is not what he is thinking or how he would like it to be.

Sick man is too sick to look after daughter so I’m having to do so, which just means plenty of attention, playing, carrying, playing and so on, whilst trying to balance getting ‘some’ work done. I would normally not bother attempting to juggle the two, as if she’s normally sick, as her mother I like to be the one to look after her. However, those motherly actions need to be dashed out the window this week, as it’s very important for me to complete these tasks ASAP!

So Lord, if ever I prayed I needed you to split me into two people – this is the time to grant that prayer please. Or you could just give me my red cape, (with an ‘S’ on my chest) and make me Superwoman, as it’s become apparent, so many people think I am already.

Which ever you decide please let it be done by 7am tomorrow morning… thank you.

ARE WE NOT AS STRONG AS OUR PARENTS?

Why is it I constantly hear myself moaning about how hard it is to achieve and maintain a quality lifestyle in the UK without killing yourself doing so? All I want is to be able to maintain a beautiful home (a la Grand Designs), enjoy at least one long haul holiday per year with my family (excluding the weekends away with the girls which I’m happy to do every six months or so). Enjoy regular spending sprees for things I desire and may not necessary need. I think you get my drift right?

I don’t believe I EVER heard either of my parents complain about any aspect of their jobs, whilst they raised my brother, sister and I, so why is it different with me and my friends now? We’re all hardworking, like I mean, really hardworking – as per my parents, but again I say, they never use to moan. Well never in front of us kids. If my 1 year old daughter could speak now, she would run her mouth about how I moan about ‘how hard it all is working and maintaining a decent lifestyle in the UK’… I’d probably have to slap her face to shut her up. So I ask, what’s the difference from the days when our parents were on the daily grind and now? Or maybe there isn’t any difference and we’re just not as strong as our parents were back in the day?
I ask this question as I recently found myself blubbering on the train home from working at a client’s office, solely for the reason of me finding the day so tiring as well as depressing (Watching people commute to work , rushing like robots seriously depresses me. Try watching people tomorrow from when you arrive at your home train station and I’m sure you’ll know what I mean). Granted, I was ill with a chest infection, however it didn’t warrant a grown woman sobbing (I’m not lying, I had tears rolling down my face), on a packed train, whilst making the journey to my parents house to pick up the little miss. I suppose it also didn’t help that a journey which should have taken 1 hour and 15 minutes, ended up taking 2 hours 30 minutes, due to parts of the Northern Line being suspended. But still I ask ‘was this a reason to cry the way I did?’

When I arrived at my parents, I was greeted by my older brother, Mum and my daughter. My brother took one look at my face and said ‘what’s wrong sis’, to which I replied ‘I’m tired. I’m just so tired’ then preceded to cry again whilst propped up at the bottom of the stairs in the hallway. ‘Oh, I forgot I failed to mention earlier in this post this was only my SECOND day working in-house as a freelance consultant for this PR agency; (you know the agency I mentioned in my last post), so what the hell was going on with me! I can laugh about it now, but I tell you, had you’d seen me on the train or saw me at my parents house, I was inconsolable, the whole of my chin was wet with tears.

So back to the question, I don’t think it makes me weak having this mini ‘drama queen’ moment. I just think our parents were more tolerable back in the day with the BS life threw at them. I also think these two days in particular, took me back to a place where I don’t EVER care to be again. I think the most important lesson I learnt was that it made me realise how lucky I am to live the life I currently live. Being self employed comes with its own negatives; however after stepping back into my old world for only 48 hours, I know the positives out weight the negatives by far. For those two days I had been hit in the face with a reminder (which actually wasn’t at all harsh), of how my life ‘use’ to be. If that’s not enough motivation to get me refocused when things start looking a bit blurry (and believe me it gets like that sometimes), then I don’t know what is.

I know many people have responsibilities and are not in a position to quit their jobs in order to pursue their dreams, but how about you try to make ‘mini’ changes into shaping your life to what you ‘want it’ to be as well as to help make the ‘job’ more bearable if you haven’t already? Something one of my close friends said to me the other day ‘if you continue to live your life a particular way, then your path will continue to be the same’. Even though I feel fortunate in terms of my working life, I know there are probably other aspects of my life where I could benefit from reciting this sentence at least once a day, in order to get to exactly where I want to be. Watch this space, I’ll let you know when I get there.

MISSING MY EX COLLEAGUES...

As regular readers will know I’m a self employed publicist/PR manager as well as working in a freelance capacity for various PR agencies. This week I was hired to work with an agency on a high street consumer retail account as they had a big story to publicise to the national press, which was to be supported by a big advertising campaign launching the same day.

The agency is relatively small (under 10 people) and on arrival, those who greeted me (the managing director and new business manager) appeared to be nice. I was shown into the boardroom where I was told one of the team would come over to brief me as the lady who I was to report into was out of the office all day, overseeing radio interviews with the client.

Rewind to 2004 – 05 when I worked for my ex employer, where it wasn’t abnormal for me and my colleagues nick named Gay boy, Asian chick, Filipino gal and White G to have a ‘Christina Aguilera’ break each day for probably two months or so, to watch her video to the single ‘Dirty’ as we thought it was the hottest music video ever! We'd be running around the office, striking a pose, attempting to recreate the video as much as possible - it was so much fun. Your probably thinking, ‘you used to do this at work? Well... yes! We used to piss around so much it was unreal. Don’t get me wrong, it was and still is one of the hardest working PR agencies I’ll probably ever work for; however we did know how to enjoy ourselves whilst getting the job done. Fast forward to today and I’m currently sat in an office of silence. This may not be a big deal to some of you, but this is unheard of in ‘my world’ of PR and its uber hard to adjust to this type of working environment. Listening to music helped to zone me into the world, mindset I needed to be in to get my client work done, whilst working hard at my desk. Total silence, distracts me and for the past two days I’ve spent quite a bit of time looking around the office at everyone else, staring at them – for no apparent reason, while my mind tells me how dull it actually is here and how I desperately wish I was with my old colleagues, Gay boy, Asian chick, Filipino gal and White G. Hey guys, if you're reading, Black G misses you and the rest of the crew.

NEW YEAR, NEW FOCUS...

First post for the year… sorry it’s been so long. I’ve been deliberating about whether I should continue with this particular blog, as I have another one which works as a weekly e-zine and was contemplating combining them… I’m yet to decide. Probably won’t do it, but hey this is my excuse.

Anyhow, I’ve been a bit of conundrum in regards to work. Before the New Year came about, I felt a bit in limbo, as I have several projects which I’m trying to start up/ as well as run at the same time. Combine these with the PR business which has several individual clients under it and you may begin to see what I saw; I was spreading myself waaaaay too thinly. I was hiding behind the excuse that once upon a time when I was working with my ex employer, I used to have to manage several different clients and teams of employees at once, but the two situations are TOTALLY different. Plus, I wasn’t caring for a baby (now toddler) at the time.

So… I’ve decided to put a few of the other projects on the back burner and concentrate on developing three for the time being. I plan to update you on them shortly; however I just need to make sure I have certain processes in place before talking about them.

DOES WORKING FROM HOME TURN YOU FROM ‘DELICIOUS’ GIRLFRIEND TO ‘TASTELESS’ GAL? PART 1

My answer… it did slightly, but I’m working on it after having been given a kick up the arse.

You see, working from home comes with many plus points. Not having to commute into the office is bloody fantastic as it means not having to smell a city man’s foul armpit. It also means you don’t have to watch chicks turning into a completely different person whilst they transform their ‘face’ before reaching the office. It means no need to be fighting through the wind and rain to get to work every day and it also means you no longer have to look at the junior members of your team, telling them telepathically that its fine for you to be late as you have a valid reason, but it isn’t fine for them to be late due to a hangover or the fact they had next to no sleep, after picking up ‘some fit guy’ which resulted in them staying at his house or checking into a hotel. Now let’s list the negatives… it means not being able to have your daily dose of Martin and Lucy on Choice FM coming through your phone, it means not being able to pick up the essential morning read of the Metro Newspaper. Lastly, but more importantly, it means missing out on the walk from home to the train station, walking between stations to change lines and doing the 10 minute walk from the train station to the office, then doing it all over again in the evening. What’s negative about the last reason I hear you ask? Let me tell you… this was the only bit of regular exercise my body received.

I tried the whole gym thing whilst working for my previous employer, (I actually worked in a gym for a year an a half back in the day), but as the pressures of PR got more intense, the last thing I wanted to do after leaving the office between the hours of 7- 11pm was go and do a work out. I decide to make some time to exercise and signed up for a weekly swimming class which I loved, but since giving birth to boss lady I haven’t returned, however this is all about to change… I promise you.

Rewind to 1 hour ago... I just came back from an appointment with my nurse, just to do a routine check… the usual stuff. During which she ask me to jump on the scales as she wanted to record my weight. I stepped on and she did her checks then told me it was fine for me to step down. She then said I was around 6 pounds or so… I asked her to convert this into stones and after fiddling with her scale converter, she said “you’re 11 stone”. A bit shaken by the ’11 stone comment’, I then said, “is my weight ok for my height” whilst putting my UGGs back on my feet and picking up my blackberry as I was attempting to keep myself busy so I could ‘just about hear’ what she about to say if it was good news and block it out if it was bad news, does that makes sense? “Actually, I was about to tell you that you’re over weight and you need to go on a diet” she replied so matter – of fact -ly. She continued to say “I would say you should look to lose around 1 ½ stones”… I don’t think my head has ever shot up so fast.

In my shock and vex-ness I called my friend FS as I needed to vent, there was no way I was calling my boyfriend. The first thing he would do would laugh and sing “who ate all the pies”, in his wack cockney voice. “I’m officially fat” I told her to which she started to laugh. I explained I had been with the nurse and what she had said to which she replied “Ronks, what you chubby now? I thought you were losing weight”. If my hand could go through the phone and give her one slap across her face her head would be rolling side to side about now. After I finished venting and she finished taking the mick, she ended the phone call with “see you tomorrow fatty”.

Luckily for me earlier this week I enrolled for a Yoga and Dance class as well as re enrolling for my weekly swimming class at the local leisure centre. Cha’ it’s as if God knew what was coming… I’ll be damn if I turn into a self employed, mother of one, who has lost her way from the path of looking good to looking mash up. I’ve already been indirectly dissed re my daily attire of head scarf, tracksuit bottoms and vest top by my boyfriend, (this is another post for another time, PART 2 of this post actually) – and I know the first day his Mum saw what I wore during the day whilst working at home, left her to stare at me longer than she had to. She had only come down into the office to say “morning” after all, why was she staring at me (in silence), 10 seconds after?

Anyway, today’s events have confirmed I need to get serious… I’m supposed to be ‘getting hot for 09’ – if I continue as I am, I’ll be far from ‘hot’ and more like ‘not’ on January 1st 2009.

REALISE WHEN IT'S TIME TO SACK THE WEB DESIGNER…

So, I’ve been trying to make contact with my web designer for the last two months now. I’ve left numerous voice messages, texts and emails and yet, nothing. No calls returned, no email… nada.

So when I called earlier this morning and his colleague answered, I said politely, ‘Hi can I speak to XXXXX please’, to which she replied ‘yes, who’s calling’. I politely gave my name and she then lowered the mouth piece which allowed me to hear her tell him who was on the phone. Seconds later, she returns to my call and says ‘Err, XXXXX is just taking the rubbish out, he said he will call you back’.

‘Taking the rubbish out?’ Are you for real? If taking your rubbish out is far more important than taking a call from a paying client who has been chasing you for the past eight weeks, then there is no hope. So yes, I think its about time I resign my business from them as well as forget about sending any business their way. Obviously the ‘credit crunch’ isn’t affecting them in anyway whatsoever.